1. When everyone with you at a restaurant is trying to help you figure out what to order.
“You could get the Caesar salad, but without anchovies!” “Eggs, can you eat eggs?” “Or the chicken parm sandwich, but with no chicken!” “Oooh, look, steamed kale!”
2. Whipping out your box of Morningstar at the barbecue.
Not to mention silently freaking out about your veg patty being grilled in the same spot where a juicy hamburger was just chilling out.
3. Telling someone you’re veg.
Pretty much sums it up.
4. When your friends want to share small plates at restaurants.
Brace yourself for paying $50 to eat one small plate of olives and some too-tough ciabatta.
5. People who crack jokes about vegetarians because they think it makes them edgy and hilarious.
Haha. “What about the feelings of plants?” So clever!
6. Family members who don’t get it.
7. “So, what DO you eat? Salad?”
Yes. Just dry arugula. Nothing but dry arugula.
8. Going to French restaurants.
*looks at menu* “Oh… I guess I’ll just have the French onion soup? Oh, beef broth? I guess just bring me some asparagus.”
9. When someone invites you over to their house for dinner.
1. Let them know you don’t eat meat, which makes them feel obligated to cook them something special and/or makes you sound presumptuous.
2. Don’t tell them, and so make them feel bad when you can only eat the side dishes.
10. Going on road trips with non-vegetarians.
You’re constantly torn between not wanting to derail everyone’s fast-food desires and knowing you’re just not going to be able to eat anything.
11. When the waiter is hovering by your table listing off the (all meat) specials.
*smiles and nods*
Nope, not gonna order those.
12. The prix fixe menu.
Hmm, which should I choose, the chicken or the steak? *cries*
14. When the token vegetarian entree is just a pile of roasted veggies, and you have to pay $18 for it anyway.
17. Stores with in-house butchers.
19. People who talk constantly about how they’re obsessed with bacon.
Wow, you’re so original! Cool.